Finding a passion?

So while talking with my husband, who is very passionate about his art, I realized… I’m not very passionate about anything. I have things I enjoy, or things I want to do. I’m passionate about my daughter and being a good mom. But I can’t finish anything I start. In the last month I’ve started drawings, knitting, cooking and a few other things. The scarf I started is sitting on me rocking chair, where it’s been for 3 weeks untouched. I tried getting better at cooking, but I got lazy or I don’t have the drive or the energy. I just recently picked up trying to get better at watercoloring, because I love making handmade cards, but who knows how long I’ll stick with that.

When I was little, all I wanted to do was use my imagination. I would pretent to be an animal, a vet, an astronaut, my dream was to travel the world and take pictures for national geographic. But it seemed the more creative I became, the more my parents beat me down. They wanted me to be a teacher, lawyer, doctor or anything other then an artist. So I lost most of my drive and creativity. I lost my ability to focus on a project. So when my mother suggested graphic design as something for me to study in college, I thought “sure! Maybe I’ll get some of my imagination back!” But I didn’t. Most of my work I hated and some of it wasn’t even original ideas. 

All this being said, I still have a million ideas running through my head at any given moment that I want to voice or text someone, just random things to ponder or spark a conversation, but I’m too afraid of getting knocked down that I just keep them to myself.

But I bought some more watercolor tools because I want to see where I can take this, but also… because I want to be able to play pretend with my kids and actually enjoy it and not think a daunting task. I want to go on adventures in the backyard, just like I did with my beanie babies when I was younger. I don’t want to be dull. I want to experience the joy and wonder of life through a child’s eyes! Everything is new to them and it’s amazing!

I’ll post anything I think is worth posting on here, drawing wise, I want feedback though!


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